Time cont....the past

Time passes, everything I look forward to is now in the past..I wish I could stop in the moment of anticipation for just another day longer. Stop the moment I so wished would come and relive it over and over again until I can be sure that I have enjoyed every moment.

Having a retrospective mind doesnt help matters much. While I wish to pass the drone of everyday, I reminisce about another time, it could be any other than the present, even moments where my life hurt me. I suppose thinking of bad times is a safe approach to view the drama without getting involved... and not getting involved when reviewing the past cheats me of the good times. It could have been a dream, I can change the past in my mind and be unfaithful to my memories.

It could all be a dream...

in the water.....

I’m here. It’s just me and you, looking into the water.
The reflection is so clear and subtle.
The wind unashamedly touches me. She is coy and cares not who is watching, I know she breathes in another’s ear but do they notice? My attention provokes her sincerity of being no more or less but my very own sensation. The reflection in the water dances for her, is that me? Seems it’s all I wanted to be.

Let me go back to a predefined end then we can all stand here, me and my ghosts that should never have been, everyone would understand…. and then maybe then the Catholics will let me through, weaving my tempered soul with rosaries, blessing my eyes in holy water and I would be smiling as the angels show me cherry bearing apple trees. This is heaven, I have been told.....